12th January, 2006
With the Lights Out, He's Less Dangerous
Callum is a feral child at heart, this much we know. It's just that he's the sort of feral child who likes the comforts of home. You know, warmth, shelter, regular meals, running water, Playstations, DVDs and all that kind of thing. Otherwise, totally feral.
Put him in the woods, see, and all sorts of things happen to him. He becomes the C Monster, and he'll scare the crap out of anything. Sometimes, he can bring the horrors to the home.
Take tonight, for example. As you may know, I'm a bit ill at the moment, so I'm kind of spending a lot of time in the bedroom, resting and reading. There I was, in repose with my blogs and my books, when the bedroom door opened. In swept Callum, as he did so switching off the bedroom light. He then pressed on into the room, bouncing off the bookcase and stumbling over my Homer Slippers. Frantically, he peered around, squinting into the gloom. At last, I couldn't stand it.
"Callum," I said, "are you looking for something? "
"Yes!" he said, his voice full of urgency.
"Well, why did you turn the light off?" I asked.
He stared at me through the darkness for a moment. "Oh," he said. "Was it on?"
Show comments (25 so far)
Nick said:
maybe he's an alien who can see in tha dark. You should have him tested for that.
13th January, 2006 at 01:25
Spirit of Owl said:
I swear this is true: when he was around 5 and 6, he used to tell us that he wasn't really our child but that he'd fallen off a space log (yeah, fell off a space log) that had been passing by Earth one night, and was pretending to be our son. It went further, he was the main man in the star fleet protecting the world, and each night he actually spent fighting aliens away from invading the Earth. Matter of fact, he'd been in a battle when he'd fallen of that space log.
I'm not kidding at all. The story never changed, never wavered. It was... freaky!
13th January, 2006 at 01:33
Cyli said:
OMG Neil he sounds precious!!! Call me crazy, but I love how he seriously didn't realize the light was on!! And you know, when I was 5or 6 I told my daddy I wasn't born on earth I was born on the planet pluto. How the hell I knew of Pluto at that age I'll never know, but my whole young life (Till abbout 12) I told people I was born on Pluto... and then oneday as an adult, I learned my horoscope sign - it's ruling planet was ---- yep you guessed it, Pluto!!!
So to your son I say, keep fighting them aliens sweetie!!!!! Hahahahaha
I hope your cold and insommnia gets better soon too ;)
Ciao for now
13th January, 2006 at 12:47
Mr. Schprock said:
Having just gotten over a cold, I feel your pain. Enjoy blogging and reading (sounds like you should be reading "The Jungle Book," eh?).
13th January, 2006 at 13:20
Celti said:
that's hilarious. He obviously has a very creative imagination. Reminds me of D telling me last night that his real name is Shadow.
Your nasty bug packing it's bags to get lost or what?
13th January, 2006 at 14:13
Spirit of Owl said:
Cyli - Wow, maybe you and Callum need to get together and swap stories! lol! :)
I'm getting better... slowly...!
Mr Schprock - :sniff: Cyli has a cold too, would you believe? Ha, I don't know about reading the Jungle Book, but we're always singing "Bear Necessities" around this house!
celti - Alright, I'm his dad, but I'd say he's really creative, and intelligent. Sadly, his dyslexia hinders him from expressing it academically. Anyway, I bet Callum and "The Shadow" would play really well together!
But this bug's dug its damn heels in. :sigh:
13th January, 2006 at 15:30
Celti said:
I'd bet they would have a blast.
BTW, you have a comment on your Homer slippers post. D'oh!
13th January, 2006 at 18:31
Spirit of Owl said:
Would you believe I already saw it - and replied!? Weird, huh? :)
13th January, 2006 at 18:49
Mistress Ubermilf said:
Hmmm... I finally have an idea for Blogadoon.
13th January, 2006 at 22:38
Spirit of Owl said:
Yeah? Wahay! Captain Beefheart has been carrying us all for some time now! :D
13th January, 2006 at 22:49
Chloe Jade said:
I fully expected to read that he'd answered with "I was looking for the darkness."
13th January, 2006 at 23:59
Spirit of Owl said:
Chloe, you almost certainly didn't know, but by UK time you posted that spine chilling comment in the very last minute of this full moon Friday the 13th. :shiver:
The boy would not surprise me with such a response. Scare me, yes. Not surprise, though.
14th January, 2006 at 00:04
-Kami- said:
That pic is kinda scary. His eyes look like he prefers the dark! That story is funny. Spastastic. Umm Neil? I don't have one of those web counter thingies.. where should I get it?
BTW your form still doesn't like my web address. Until you tell me to give up, I'm going to keep mentioning it.
14th January, 2006 at 00:15
Spirit of Owl said:
I know - there was no flash on this picture and his eyes came out like that. Really freakin' wierd!
I'll email you some info about webcounters, kami. And I'll take a look at the web address problem - but I already know that it's because you start your web address with a "-" !!! Still, I'll see what I can do. Huh. Yes, do you hear what I'm saying? I'm going to rewrite my code just for you! How much do I care!!! :D
14th January, 2006 at 00:42
-Kami- said:
OMG you like me! You really like me!
14th January, 2006 at 00:53
Space Log Ensign Smithers said:
Yep. He's an alien.
14th January, 2006 at 04:08
mhn for short said:
His eyes have a cat-like glow about them. It's scary really.
14th January, 2006 at 05:07
Spirit of Owl said:
kami - For goodness sake, at last she gets it! :)
Space Log Ensign Smithers - I knew it! So, what do we do? Are there support groups, helplines, where do we go?
mhn - I know. I thought he was a robot, maybe, but S.L.E. Smithers says he's an alien. Phew. So, that's alright then.
14th January, 2006 at 11:37
Bill said:
I love the stories about the kids Neil, they always make me smile!!
Drop me a note and let me know how the 'other thing' is coming along!!
14th January, 2006 at 14:37
indiaiynke said:
I told my husband that Callum is my Internet boyfriend, so he's really thinking I've lost my mind now. And I told him that Baby E. is really my child that I gave up for adoption years ago, but she never grows up so she's like this permanent wonderful bundle of girl child.
I do hope you are feeling better...
14th January, 2006 at 15:33
Spirit of Owl said:
Bill - Thanks Bill, and I'm glad. I'll email you later tonight - in fact I want to pick your brains!! :D
indiaiynke - LOL Callum is embarrassed but I think secretly chuffed hehe.
And wow, I'm amazed you make such a connection with Baby E. I feel honoured, but also I guess sad for you. She's giving you a big Internet smile - and she's very pleased about your new job. :)
And yes, I'm sure I am getting better - just nowhere near quickly enough!
14th January, 2006 at 21:21
bring me a nightlite said:
will you please tell me what the crap is a space log?
and i spit out my milk when you said "he said, oh, were the lights on?"
14th January, 2006 at 21:46
Spirit of Owl said:
Space Log? Well, I always think of it as some kind of intergalactic water flume, but what do I know?
14th January, 2006 at 23:03
Comfort Addict said:
LOL. The feral Callum may have a future in comedy.
I'm sorry to hear that you're not feeling well. I hope that you getter better soon. Take care.
16th January, 2006 at 04:00
Spirit of Owl said:
Hi CA! I'll tell you something, he can really hit a one-liner sometimes. I'll try to get some written down and put them in a post! :)
19th January, 2006 at 08:05
