Where I fall down is where the rug corner is a bit lifted. No wait a minute, that’s where everyone falls down. Where I fall down in particular is confidence. (more…)

Last December my wife woke me up to tell me that her legs were itching. And now, we’re dealing with a situation that might be life or death for her … but, well ok, in all honesty probably isn’t. It’s probably just stuff… On the other hand, stuff is always life or death. Damn it’s confusing.

Over time any early promise I might have shown in this life has been much disrupted by events and circumstances – which means I guess that I’m often dangerously associated with excuses. Damn it we all know it’s hard to keep life and soul together for any of us, and I know that I have no right whatsoever to demand from life anything at all. I mean, who do I think I am? Eh? (more…)

I started my first job when I was 12 years old. On Saturday mornings, from 7am, I worked in a bakery for my uncle. Yes he was my uncle, but I hardly knew the man. In fact he was the latest husband of my aunty, who had made a steady progression through gradually wealthier men in her life. So, by dint of being his (albeit barely known) nephew, when it came about that he needed a Saturday worker, I got the job.

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A few things have come to my attention recently. Lots of things in fact, but in the interests of interest I’ll just be very picky about what I cover. Mostly because I don’t want to challenge my attention span.

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Take caterpillars. I mean, there’s an ugly duckling story right there. I wonder if they know, all the time, that their future is bright? Caterpillars don’t get all depressed about their situation, do they? They just carry on chewing up leaves, the smug little grubs. If they don’t know what’s coming while they’re munching away there like tiny squelchy pigs, then they’re surely the ultimate lesson in optimism of all time.

What they do is eat all day, every day, ravenously, getting as repulsively fat as it’s possible to get, before thinking, hey, you know what I’m going to do now? I know, I’m going to fasten myself up in a tight, hard ball right here. And they do. A little while later, would you believe it, they emerge as one of the most elegant of all creatures on this earth. It’s incredible. Who’d o’ thunk? Seems to me, either caterpillars are extraordinarily optimistic, or, perhaps, they actually know what the future holds.

It’s possible, I guess.

Personally, I’m not sure that knowing the future would be a good thing. First of all, it would take away the element of surprise. Everyone would expect the Spanish Inquisition. Yet, not knowing the future is something that drives human beings absolutely bananas.

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