Another bunch of hilarious signs and notices (see previous list of funny foreign signs) discovered around the world, written in bravely attempted but ultimately poorly translated English. Given how few English speaking people ever learn a second language, you have to give the writers an ‘A’ for Effort, but there’s no denying that the results can be very funny indeed…

• In a Tokyo Hotel: Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such thing is please not to read notis.
• In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.
• In a Leipzig elevator: Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up. (more…)

These are actual statements from insurance forms where drivers have attempted to summarize the details of an accident in their own words. The results are pure comedy genius.

• Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don’t have.
• The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions.
• I thought my windows were down but I found out it was up when I put my head through it. (more…)

Ok, so we’ve covered “What Men Don’t Say“, but what about women – what don’t they say? Well, you know what makes for a good laugh? Reading this list out to the woman of your life whilst she’s on her period. (more…)

A great deal of the world doesn’t have English as a first language, and even those of us who do can make the odd faux pas, excuse my French. However, what makes English so great to for poets – the ambiguity, the variation, the grammatical nuances – can be the trap for anyone who tries to translate, with the best of intentions, their meaning from their native tongue to an approximate English equivalent. The results can be hilarious… (more…)