Neil White's Totally @ Home Page
Neil White

Neil White's Totally @ Home Page!

27th June, 2009

Back to back?

For way over two years this site has been gone. And now, within moonwalking distance of Michael Jackson's death, it flickers back to life.

Why the long gap? Why the comeback? All will be revealed. But for now, back is the new back.

Neil. X.

Show comments (3 so far)

Owl said:

I'm just me testing if I work.

27th June, 2009 at 03:12

Celti said:

welcome back :) *hugs*

Email

28th June, 2009 at 17:05

Owl said:

Cheers Celti. X.

28th June, 2009 at 18:39

Add your comment

Permanent link: Back to back?

31st January, 2007

Secret

Sometimes you have to wash your undies, and there's a peace in this. Trouble is that then you have to dry them... but of course we the modern can simply throw them in the dryer.

We must remember, of course, that this modern machine dryer facility thing hasn't always been there. When I was young smalls were hung from the rails in the kitchen. Or, when the weather was dry, swung high from the washing line in the garden.

But this latter method was really not a good option for the decent family. Rather, wet smalls were hung dripping over the bath (and its sunken bathers) for two steam foisted days than borne before the eyes of a public who were, let's face it, lacking entertainment. We had three channels, and one of them was showing Bernard Manning. The other one, football. The other one, a repeat.

Ultimately, if this is getting anywhere at all, it's getting towards the idea that we sometimes need our secrets. In my childhood underwear was almost sacrosanct, but the fact is, now like then: secrets rule. Governments, people, babies. The universe we live in likes to keep things from us. Secrets are forbidden and precious. They are comforting and accursed. So, when I don't post much in three or four months, I'm probably hanging out some laundry on the line...

But all that waffle is done with. I've been trying to deal with a personal and family situation quietly, but there comes a time when a secret can only be useful as a truth spoken. So here is the start of it:

My stepson, Derry, ran away from home. He left one night in a rage, and ran to his grandparents. He is still there. It's been, oh, around five months.

Show comments (10 so far)

Jay said:

Here I was, all ready with plenty of inane comments about my own underwear follies, when you hit us upside the head with your last revelation.

I'm sorry to hear it. I guess I can't imagine how hard the past few months must have been for your family.

Email Email

1st February, 2007 at 08:39

trinamick said:

Man, that sucks. Sorry to hear things aren't going so great. Hope things improve soon.

I never ran away from home. My mom wouldn't let me cross the street by myself.

Email Email

1st February, 2007 at 21:29

Celti said:

Oh honey, he's still not home? Yes, sometimes it is better to talk about things. I'm here any time you want to ramble. *hugs*

Email

4th February, 2007 at 14:10

SpiritOfOwl said:

Jay - Of course I love underwear follies, and that's the kind of thing I want to talk about. But clearly stuff that happens makes life less fun than that. But wow, I love that you were ready for the fun, but were ready to understand too, just turning on a dime for compassion. Thank you.

trinamick - Wow. You're about the most running away from nothing person I ever, ever knew. Of course you didn't run away. Your mum knew the street needed you to keep it safe.

celti - No, and it doesn't look like any time soon, and that's exactly the kind of statement that I never wanted to make publically, hence hanging back here. Well, you know.

Anyway, turns out we've tried so much, asked everyone for help, well, we don't know what'll work. Whatever else, I want my friends back.

5th February, 2007 at 01:46

celti said:

You've got it, honey. :)

Email

6th February, 2007 at 03:35

Kris said:

Um...email a body, eh? We can't help if you don't talk to us. Even if it's just a bit set of shoulders (connected to a pretty good pair of knockers) to cry on.

I miss you.

Email Email

14th February, 2007 at 14:00

Celti said:

Hope you had a happy Valentine's Day, Owl. :)

xox

Email

15th February, 2007 at 04:13

David said:

I love the blog that you have. I was wondering if you would link my blog to yours and in return I would do the same for your blog. If you want to, my site name is American Legends and the URL is:

www.americanlegends.blogspot.com

If you want to do this just go to my blog and in one of the comments just write your blog name and the URL and I will add it to my site.

Thanks,

David

Email Email

20th February, 2007 at 04:40

ubermilf said:

Owl! I had no idea.

It's common for kids to do this around puberty.

It'll get better. but not before a bunch of heartache.

Email Email

1st March, 2007 at 19:11

Owl said:

All the pain and the heartache remains. We've got through, but the strain has torn us apart. We used to _have_ hope. Now, we're holding on to it.

27th June, 2009 at 03:13

Add your comment

Permanent link: Secret

28th January, 2007

Depression And Ice- Cream

For me, depression has a lot to do with ice-cream. For instance, I never eat it. Ever. Well, ok, I sometimes eat ice-cream, and then I feel guilty for getting fat and for lying too. So, I don't eat ice-cream. Whatever way you cut it, how depressing is that?

I mean, I actually don't eat it, but that doesn't mean I've never eaten it. I have. As a child, I ate it at the ice cream van, but sadly I had some bad early ice-cream experiences. Thereafter, I claimed I didn't like it, even though I did I just said no. And I stuck to it, no matter what anyone said, pretty much to this day. What a weird lie to get into.

Anyway, I began this with, "For me," because if you're depressed, then of course it's a personal thing. But I think there's common ground. So, this is my 5 loose connections between depression and ice-cream:

1)The Truth:

Truth and lies become hugely confused. A depressed person will tell you that they never lie, and that they hate liars. They will sometimes be aggressively defensive over their own honesty. Of course, ice-cream is a brutally honest personal indulgence. Ruled by fear and disappointment, depressed people seek succour in the lonely pursuit of the bottom of a bucket of ice-cream, which will not lie, nor disappoint. Ice cream - a cold, hard honest fat. With sugar on.

2)Downward Spiral

It's suggested that success breeds success. Conversely, we say depression is a downward spiral. It's true. Solipsistic by design, excuse, and endeavour, depression affords uncommon time for self-inventory. This inner analysis undoubtedly will discover many of the reasons why one is depressed. Not surprisingly, this is depressing. Sort of like deconstructing the ingredients that make ice-cream and proving that mixing those ingredients together will make ice-cream.

3) Appearances

For the depressed, concerns with appearances are less about what your appearance means to other people, and more about how other people's appearances affect you, The Depressed. But for fuck's sake, let's be honest with each other, ice cream is a weird one with appearances. The waif model, for instance, is a bit of imagery derived from the waifer, which is a sweet, crunchy thing that once was commonly dipped in to an ice-cream tub. Now, the ice-cream is sold in a waifer cone, and in ads "waifer thin" models perform oral sex on their mint chocolate ice-cream cocks to sell ice-cream to, well, depressed women with big hips, and, most importantly, everyone else who empathises with that plight. Because, of course, they're all going to be depressed.

4)Flavours

Like ice-cream, depression comes in different flavours. There are times when you can't believe that you feel this way, times when you feel calmly accepting of the misery. There are times when you feel depressed about the state of the world, other times when you're depressed about the state of yourself. There's times when you can't believe what a failure you are, and other times when your successes seem to damn you. In other words, sometimes you feel rum and raisin, and other times you feel vanilla.

5)Margaret Thatcher

Someone somewhere is probably delighting in your misery.

Oh, and if you don't know what Maggie Thatcher and ice-cream have to do with each other, read up on the Mad Ice Cold Iron Blue so called "Lady".

Show comments (3 so far)

Celti said:

First of all, HOLY SHIT I am glad you're still kicking. I've missed you, Owl. ...and worried. Damnit, have a lick. :P

*hugs*

Email

29th January, 2007 at 03:53

Mistress Ubermilf said:

OWL!

I eat ice cream. Posh Spice can kiss my fat ass with her withered 80-year-old woman lips, since that's what she's going to have in a couple of years.

Email Email

29th January, 2007 at 19:00

SpiritOfOwl said:

Celti - Hey there, yeah I'm ok. You know I don't do no lickin' though... :) X.

Mistress Ubermilf - For a while it was touch and go, but that image actually did cheer me up in the end. :D X.

30th January, 2007 at 21:19

Add your comment

Permanent link: Depression And Ice- Cream

6th September, 2006

Wow, Nobody Expected That, Steve

My reaction to the death of Steve Irwin is more or less: Wow, big surprise!

Yes, yes, I know there's an argument that he took brave risks to promote his good conservationist cause. But there's also the plain fact that if you put yourself in the line of danger often enough, sooner or later you'll lose.

Sure he did a lot of good promotion of wildlife issues, and I'm not taking that away from him, indeed I applaud his work.

But, for instance, look at David Attenborough. He's a man nearly three thousand years old, and still surviving. Why? Because of his decent sense of preparation, patience and caution.

So, in order to save similar future issues, these dashed reckless types would do well to take a leaf out his exemplary book and just be more damned British about things.

Show comments (14 so far)

Richard/WhiteBoyBob said:

I was going to say that even though his programmes were over the top at least his heart was in the right place, but well, you know.

Email Email

6th September, 2006 at 14:38

Celti said:

Well, he was an adrenalin junkie - what can we say? At least he died doing what he loves. Though I am sad at the loss, I'm not at all surprised.

You know, you're a real smart-ass. Don't get me wrong, though - I love you for it. :)

Email

6th September, 2006 at 14:46

Mistress Ubermilf said:

Celti said what I was going to say about the adrenaline junkie thing.

I know Australians are mourning and all, but I live in the U.S., where children in some neighborhoods get shot while playing in their own front yards.

I get much sadder about that, and I only have so much sadness to give. Sorry, Mr. Irwin.

Email Email

6th September, 2006 at 15:25

trinamick said:

Yeah, can't say that was a big shocker. I figured he'd lose an arm/leg long before now.

Email Email

6th September, 2006 at 16:02

ginonymlous said:

hey, he died the way he lived, as they say. i can't say i was surprised, but for him it's sort of an honorable death.

Email Email

9th September, 2006 at 07:14

Kris said:

I'm gonna die doing what I love to do, too. Now snog me quick and pass the vodka.

Email Email

11th September, 2006 at 15:20

Celti said:

*poke*

Email

13th September, 2006 at 14:34

brooke said:

Every time I watched him on tv I would think that it was just a matter of time for him. Still, it's very sad.

Email Email

17th September, 2006 at 14:42

Tam. said:

His death wasnt much of a shock to me its been hit and miss for him for a long time. Cant say he didnt live life to the full. AND he died doing what he loved which was like natural things. Im rather shocked i understood all of the big words you used. I usualy have no idea =]

Email

4th October, 2006 at 21:11

mhn for short said:

Hey lovie!

Sad but true.

Email Email

6th October, 2006 at 04:28

mongakim said:

I was sorry to hear he died, but I can't say it was much of a surprise for me either. I've heard his little daughter wants to follow in his footsteps, let's hope she doesn't follow all of them.

Email Email

6th November, 2006 at 15:18

Celti said:

Hope you had a wonderful holiday, hon. Happy Christmas. *hugs*

Email

26th December, 2006 at 20:25

Cyli said:

Hey neil. How have you been doing? I had to swing by today, since it is National Delurking week, and delurk and say I think about you. Since coming back I moved my old blog, Why Not Right to wordpress, (new url in comment form) and didn't know if i let you know so you could update your links. I see you haven't posted in a while so I hope you are doing okay and that your holidays went well. best of 2007 to you and take care of yourself okay? See you around - Cyli

Email Email

8th January, 2007 at 22:24

Bill said:

Neil... long time no type... I hope all is well my friend... I'll be dropping you an email!!

Email Email

20th January, 2007 at 17:01

Add your comment

Permanent link: Wow, Nobody Expected That, Steve